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gary.turner
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With apologies to Scott Adams.

Web Developer: I'll need to know your requirements before I start to design your website.

First of all, what are you trying to accomplish?

Marketing Guy: I'm trying to make you design my website.

WD: I mean what are you trying to accomplish with the website?

MG: I don't know what I can accomplish until you tell me what the website can do.

WD: Try to get this concept through your thick skull! The website can whatever I design it to do!

MG: :?

MG: Can you design it to tell you my requirements?

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

gary

If your web page is as clever as you can make it, it's probably too clever for you to debug or maintain.

HellsBells
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On getting website requirements

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud oh yes definitely had that or variations on that conversation.

My current favourite are the clients who have no copy, no images, no logo, no plans for the site... you'd at least think that they'd have a rough idea of what they want.

Actually the thing that bothers me most is the copy - you'd think they'd actually have something they want to say about their company on the site surely - even just a damn summary of what they do!

My strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it!

"Also, your CSS (no offence) makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon" - TPH

larmyia
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On getting website requirements

HellsBells wrote:
Actually the thing that bothers me most is the copy - you'd think they'd actually have something they want to say about their company on the site surely - even just a *beep* summary of what they do!

I love the way they just dump the copy on us and tell us to come up with something catchy based on 20 year old brochures!

lovely.

:roll:

HellsBells
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On getting website requirements

Brochures? You get brochures? Lucky, lucky, lucky...

My strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it!

"Also, your CSS (no offence) makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon" - TPH

larmyia
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On getting website requirements

HB I use that word very generously!!!

more like a a5 page of krap with large picture and not much writing!

Lorraine
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On getting website requirements

Ladies
Why try to re-use or get inspiration from stuff written for the print medium anyway? Seems like a great opportunity to really get to know your client's business on a personal basis. Then, unfettered by client exclamation "but... but... we always say it this way", to use your persuasive skills to explain the differences between the two media. Then to use your copywriting skills to produce excellent web text and Search Engine optimised copy. You could even offer logo/corporate-image design services to swell the coffers a tad, if the brochures are truly awful.

I'll just get my coat, then

Chris..S
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On getting website requirements

Ahh, Lorraine you bring a touch of sanity Wink

It was beginning to sound like the three yorkshire lasses.

"Aw aye, now we have it really tough. Our brochures are a couple of sheets of old newspaper with a twenty year old black and white logo - if we're luuucky".

"Brochures, you get brochures! We used to dream of getting brochures ..."

Tongue

HellsBells
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On getting website requirements

Quote:
Then to use your copywriting skills to produce excellent web text and Search Engine optimised copy.

This is what we end up doing anyway!

I have no problem with the people who don't have anything written down as such but, when asked rave enthusiastically about their product or services. It's the ones that, when asked "so tell me about your business" stare at you, frown and shrug that cause me problems!

My strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it!

"Also, your CSS (no offence) makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon" - TPH

Lorraine
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On getting website requirements

HB
From your HR days, I guess you could vary your interview technique, for the tongue-tied ones. And I don't just mean wear an ultra-short skirt and fishnets. Shock

HellsBells
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On getting website requirements

Lorraine wrote:
HB
From your HR days, I guess you could vary your interview technique, for the tongue-tied ones. And I don't just mean wear an ultra-short skirt and fishnets. Shock

You gotta stick with what works!

My strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it!

"Also, your CSS (no offence) makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon" - TPH

nix
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On getting website requirements

HellsBells wrote:
Lorraine wrote:
HB
From your HR days, I guess you could vary your interview technique, for the tongue-tied ones. And I don't just mean wear an ultra-short skirt and fishnets. Shock

You gotta stick with what works!

Shock

So... um... Can you build me a website? Tongue

I prefer to do site re-designs. All the content is there, I just make a fancy dancy template, and slot it in. Laughing out loud

I refuse to be like the faceless masses of sheep and have a signatu......awwwwwwwww CRAP!!

Backups? Ha! I've never had troub**&{[}$$ERROR NO CARRIER

Anonymous
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On getting website requirements

Chris..S wrote:
Ahh, Lorraine you bring a touch of sanity Wink

It was beginning to sound like the three yorkshire lasses.

"Aw aye, now we have it really tough. Our brochures are a couple of sheets of old newspaper with a twenty year old black and white logo - if we're luuucky".

"Brochures, you get brochures! We used to dream of getting brochures ..."

TonguePshaw! You had it good. My clients used to make me eat the brochures without salt. Then punch me in the gut and sing "God save the Queen" while dancing on my doubled-over body.

HellsBells
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On getting website requirements

Triumph wrote:
Chris..S wrote:
Ahh, Lorraine you bring a touch of sanity Wink

It was beginning to sound like the three yorkshire lasses.

"Aw aye, now we have it really tough. Our brochures are a couple of sheets of old newspaper with a twenty year old black and white logo - if we're luuucky".

"Brochures, you get brochures! We used to dream of getting brochures ..."

TonguePshaw! You had it good. My clients used to make me eat the brochures without salt. Then punch me in the gut and sing "God save the Queen" while dancing on my doubled-over body.

Eat the Brochures? Eat the Brochures! You lucky lucky b*****d!

My clients used to make the brochures from Papyrus leaves, then set fire to them and make me dance on top of it before shooting me several times in the head... and that was before they agreed to sign the contract!

My strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it!

"Also, your CSS (no offence) makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon" - TPH

HellsBells
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On getting website requirements

Chris..S wrote:
Ahh, Lorraine you bring a touch of sanity Wink

It was beginning to sound like the three yorkshire lasses.

"Aw aye, now we have it really tough. Our brochures are a couple of sheets of old newspaper with a twenty year old black and white logo - if we're luuucky".

"Brochures, you get brochures! We used to dream of getting brochures ..."

Tongue

Pssst - that was the idea!

My strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it!

"Also, your CSS (no offence) makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon" - TPH