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5L2F
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New Zealand
Last seen: 12 years 42 weeks ago
New Zealand
Joined: 2005-10-05
Posts: 31
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True Tech Support calls

Quote:
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support : OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support : And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Quote:
Tech support : Are you running you printer under Windows?
Female Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under one, and his printer is working fine."

Quote:
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer : Hello... I can't print.
Tech support : Would you click on "start" for me and...
Male customer : Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

Quote:
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Quote:
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support : Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Quote:

Tech support : What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Quote:
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support : Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support : Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support : That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

Quote:
Tech support : What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support : That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Quote:
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support : OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Quote:
Tech support : "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support : On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support : "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'm not going to do that!

5L2F
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New Zealand
Last seen: 12 years 42 weeks ago
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Joined: 2005-10-05
Posts: 31
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My favorite

My favorite is #6

"What's on your monitor now, ma'am?" Laughing out loud

thepineapplehead
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Joined: 2004-06-30
Posts: 9668
Points: 801

True Tech Support calls

"Pee on your keyboard, Bob"

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Verschwindende wrote:
  • CSS doesn't make pies

roytheboy
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North Wales, UK
Last seen: 5 years 51 weeks ago
North Wales, UK
Timezone: GMT+1
Joined: 2004-09-18
Posts: 2233
Points: 41

True Tech Support calls

If I had a pound for every client contact who is completely unable to tell me what browser they use... :roll:

"What's a browser?"

Or I ask them which mail programme they are using...

"Internet Explorer"

These people spend most of their working lives sat in front of these applications, using them every hour of every day! ...you have to laugh Laughing out loud

PS: no, I haven't left the forum, I've just been VERY busy (and still am) :?

Life's a b*tch and then you die!

Anonymous
Anonymous's picture
Guru

True Tech Support calls

roytheboy wrote:
PS: no, I haven't left the forum, I've just been VERY busy (and still am) :?
Hi, Roy! Laughing out loud

n8gz4ez
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Last seen: 10 years 24 weeks ago
Timezone: GMT-6
Joined: 2005-06-13
Posts: 802
Points: 0

True Tech Support calls

This is my big chance . . . yep, I blew it . . .

roytheboy
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North Wales, UK
Last seen: 5 years 51 weeks ago
North Wales, UK
Timezone: GMT+1
Joined: 2004-09-18
Posts: 2233
Points: 41

True Tech Support calls

Triumph wrote:
Hi, Roy! Laughing out loud

Life's a b*tch and then you die!

Anonymous
Anonymous's picture
Guru

True Tech Support calls

n8gz4ez wrote:
This is what we do:

http://www.ageslibrary.com/index_test.htmlLaughing out loud

Quote:
"Oooo oooo oooo AHHAHHAHHHHHHH. Oooo oooo cooo oooo oooo: AHHHH. Oooo AHHHHH oooo oooo, AHHAHHAHHHHHHHAHHAHH oooo oooo … "
from: AGES Software Technical Support

Hilarious! Laughing out loud

5L2F
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New Zealand
Last seen: 12 years 42 weeks ago
New Zealand
Joined: 2005-10-05
Posts: 31
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True Tech Support calls

n8gz4ez wrote:
This is what we do:

http://www.ageslibrary.com/index_test.html

Hmmm. Well I dont think I'll bother asking him again. :-s

nix
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(n): a position or site occupied or available for occupancy or marked by some distinguishing feature
Last seen: 10 years 7 weeks ago
(n): a position or site occupied or available for occupancy or marked by some distinguishing feature
Timezone: GMT-4
Joined: 2003-08-12
Posts: 159
Points: 0

True Tech Support calls

And next week, we'll explore the archives of the suicide help line. Shock

Quote:

No no no, First you gotta côck it, then pull the trigger... numbskull!

Laughing out loud

I refuse to be like the faceless masses of sheep and have a signatu......awwwwwwwww CRAP!!

Backups? Ha! I've never had troub**&{[}$$ERROR NO CARRIER