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5L2F
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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English.”

In the 1st year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing public enthusiasm in the 2nd year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, public akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will encourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al will agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the language is disgrasful and it should go.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be droped from vords kontainin ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl of difikultis and evirun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Anonymous
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Changing the English Language

Laughing out loud Nice!

Hugo
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Changing the English Language

Laughing out loud

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n8gz4ez
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Changing the English Language

English could definitely use some consistancy.

This is my big chance . . . yep, I blew it . . .

wolfcry911
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Changing the English Language

It is consistent - over here anyway Laughing out loud

Anonymous
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Changing the English Language

wolfcry911 wrote:
It is consistent - over here anyway Laughing out loud
Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

thepineapplehead
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Changing the English Language

This is old. . . .

. . . but funny Laughing out loud

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ClevaTreva
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Changing the English Language

Hi

England and the USA ...

Quote:
Oscar Wilde claimed that "the Americans and the British are identical in all respects except, of course, their language."

Which gave rise to the misquote

Quote:
Two Nations divided by a Common Language

The Internet, bless its lovely fluffy white socks (or is that sox?), will cause a world wide use of English by common consent. I recall an interview by a british Journalist in Kashmir recently, in the earthquake zone, in a little village (ruined) talking to a young boy. Who was speaking fluent English, much better than many pupils I teach.

And what was it that Homer said?

Quote:
English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

The episode when he was explaining how he met Marge. Of course, they did eventually go!

Trevor